My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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