can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
