Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize