dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
