lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
