just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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