Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
