Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
