Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
