i may or may not be watching the land before time
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
