We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
