dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
