when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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