Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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