Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
