pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
