An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
do herpes really smell.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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