You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
