bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
