So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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