READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
