i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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