margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Randomize
