Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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