; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She said her name was "party"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
