the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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