I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize