she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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