Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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