You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
