OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
