I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
