she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Is it penis luge time yet?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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