my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
