Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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