When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize