I feel like I'm in dance class right now
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
