she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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