Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
