8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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