she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
