Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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