just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How external is "for external use only"?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
