Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
