Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
