This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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