so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
