I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize
