Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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