there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Randomize
