I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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