what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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