He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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