ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
