I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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