So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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