i think i have herpe
just one?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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