I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
