Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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