one two three fourrrrnication!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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