I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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