So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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