Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
