so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
